ADD

Ok, this is suppose to be a blog about our life as homeschoolers and the other crazy stuff we do so here's a post just for that. I am giving some history for my new readers and then telling about a new road we have recently started traveling. I am also seeking your help in guiding us down this road.

I started homeschooling in 2004 when Oldest was in preschool. That was my first mistake. Not that starting with preschool is wrong but it was for us. Both of our boys are adopted. Oldest was finally place with us after a long court ordeal in the summer of 2004 right around his 4th birthday. I jumped right into homeschooling because I didn't want to give DCFS any reason to doubt to us. In August of 2004 my father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer. In November we moved closer to my father-in-law and spent a good deal of time in his home helping with his care. In April of 2005 we moved into my father in laws house and within two weeks he went home to be with the Lord. In June we made the adoption final and in the fall of 2005 we moved out of my father-in-laws to another rental. By this time I had started kindergarten. I knew we had gotten behind and I was stressed over everything. I felt like I had spent two years running in a hamster wheel and I was ready to settle in. I wanted everything to run smoothly and go right. Well we hit a brick wall instead. Oldest showed lots of intelligence but he just wasn't retaining information and I took it as laziness or rebellion. He was somewhat rebellious, which we knew was caused by the stress of the last 5 years of his life, but instead of helping I fear I made the situation worse. I believe I had unrealistic expectations of him because I had unrealistic expectations of myself. My in-laws all homeschool and we have several friends who homeschool and they make it look so easy. It is not always easy. For me, even after 6 years, it is still not easy!

Each year I saw us getting further behind with Oldest and I vowed that would not happen with Youngest. I didn't push Youngest and tried not to have as high of expectations but I went the opposite directions. Because I continued to have problems with Oldest retaining information and he would not stay on task when given seat work, Youngest somewhat fell to the wayside. Now starting our 6th year of homeschool we are behind. Oldest is in 4th grade with 3rd grade math and Youngest is in 2nd grade. Oldest should be in 5th grade and Youngest should be in 3rd grade. I am sad that a lot of this is due to me. I am not a scheduled person, I have dealt with a lot of health issues and I sometimes pushed the school day aside. Not all of this is my fault. I believe Oldest would still be behind if I had stuck to a strict schedule but Youngest I'm not so sure about. Each year people told me it would get better and easier and it didn't until last year. Things did go a bit better last year. Oldest was still not retaining information and seeking out all of my time and Youngest struggled with reading but we kept to a much better, although still relaxed schedule, and we completed the year on time. Oldest and I have had more tears and fights throughout this homeschooling adventure than I care to admit but I think we are finally finding some level ground.

At my urging, and sometimes, begging Hubby allowed me to have Oldest tested for a learning disability. He has been diagnosed with ADD. We have not started any medications as I am not confident that is the road to go down. I have heard such horror stories and have verbally stood against medication for a long time. My stand has always been that I feel ADD is overdiagnosed or diagnosed to early to appease the public school teachers that don't want to deal with children being children. I know that it is a real disease and that it needs to be dealt with but when a child is 6 weeks into kindergarten and has never been in a school environment I find it hard to believe that it has to be ADD/ADHD. I also know that it is a genuine thing and needs to be treated. We have waited 6 years to have Oldest diagnosed and I am somewhat surprised at the diagnosis is but I am looking into it. I have been reading Driven to Distraction by Edward M. Hallowell and it has opened my eyes to many things. Oldest is not overly hyper. He can get overstimulated when he is excited and have a hard time coming down to a normal excitement level but he's not really hyper in general terms. He daydreams, forgets everything, and goes about whatever he wants to do whenever he wants to without thought to what he is suppose to be doing. I did not realize that his impulsivity was a symptom to ADD. While reading the book, I can see how it is diagnosed too quickly on some because some of the symptoms can pertain to anyone but I am learning a lot.

We are taking a non-medicinal route for now. Trying a more regimented schedule, more routine, having pictures up around the house to help him remember how chores are to be done correctly, giving him one instruction at a time etc. It is very hard for me sometimes and I still find myself getting very frustrated at having to be the memory for everyone in the house (I guess that is every wives/mothers frustration though) and having to wait for him to get one step of something done so I can tell him the next step. We are also looking at herbal options. Oldest has also had chronic sinusitis which was recently discovered because of headaches. He had no symptoms of being sick but he complained regularly of headaches. A CT was done and we discovered his left sinus cavity was packed. After a very ambitious round of antibotics they have decided to do surgery. I am praying that this will help him sleep better and will also help with his attention. If we don't see a marked improvement in the next few months then medicine it will be. We are already seeing self-image problems due to the ADD and that is what finally got Hubby's attention. This is a new road for us so I would love feedback from those of you have been traveling this way for a while. What can you tell me about the treatments you use and what you have loved and hated about it?