Why Thrive?

I recently started the Thrive Weight Loss program. What I like about it is that they teach you WHY you eat certain foods in certain combinations. It isn't a diet, it is a lifestyle. It really is just a matter of looking at food differently and making wiser choices. I've only been following the plan for 3 days but so far so good. I decided that since all my other attempts at weight loss has failed miserably, I want to share this new venture with the blogosphere. Maybe by sharing my journey with everyone, I'll be more diligent in staying with it.
Today was my first "hard" day. I have wanted a Coke all day. And I have them, in my fridge. Ice cold. Laughing at me. I open the refrigerator to get the water and those glistening red cans call out to me. Really. They do. I have been strong. I have drank my weakly sweetened tea and my water. I've even found some Crystal Lite that I like but those glistening, ice cold cans of soda continue to mock me. But they won't win. I know they won't win. I know this because the 1st thing you do in the Thrive system is find your WHY. Why do I want to lose weight. Why do I want to put myself through the misery of having a can of soda mock me. Well let me tell you...this is my why.

I want to look like this again. Or as close as a 33 year old me can look to the 17 year old me. It's not just about looking like that though. I remember how it felt to be like that. I had ENERGY. I mean real energy. I could walk everywhere I wanted to go without feeling like I was going to DIE. Come on, you know the feeling. When you go outside and it feels good to exercise. I could even RUN and RIDE A BIKE. I don't even like saying those words anymore. My kids want to go on bike rides and I don't own a bike. I don't want to own a bike. It hurts to ride a bike. I mean it makes me miserable. Running, now that's a whole 'nother story. I've never been a runner. It has always given me headaches. I mean I could run around the bases in a baseball game or chase someone a short ways but no running track or anything for me. I don't want to run races or marathons though I just want to chase my kids and get them out as they round third base. Or make a touchdown in family football. I want to be similar to the 17 year old me again. But that isn't my only WHY. There is another why and it has to do with this dream I've had for many, many years. I want to be pregnant. It isn't just the desire to be a mom, I have that and I love it. I love my boys and would love to adopt more but I feel like I missed out on something special and important. I want to experience motherhood from the very beginning. I have PCOS and so that make gaining weight very easy. It also makes losing weight very hard. But the best "cure" for PCOS is losing weight. I am also at high risk for diabetes and heart disease. I already have chest pains and have even been to the hospital because of them. I've had an Eco, Ekg and stress test. So far everything seems ok but it scared me. That was 2 years ago and I have gained weight since then. I want to be around to see my children grow up and have children of their own. I want to be able to play with my grandchildren. And I want to have more children. Whether the Lord leads us to a larger family through adoption or conception, I want to be able to play with each of those family members. When Youngest was a baby I could hold him an carry him all I wanted to. Now babies get heavy faster and I have to pass them off to other people even though I don't want to. I get tired just tying my shoes or bending over a few times to pick up things on the floor. I am not happy this way.
So WHY THRIVE? Well I THRIVE to be Healthy, Happy and HOT! Do you Thrive? Why?

Why Not Me?

Have you ever found yourself feeling all alone even though you supposedly have a ton of friends? I know I have. I know others who have. Sometimes you are even a member of a very good church but still you feel like no one is there for you. You hear about or read about friends who are having lunch with other friends. You witness people inviting other people to lunch. Sometimes you see church members invite new visitors to lunch and you wonder, why have they never invited me? I've thought a lot about this. I have felt this way myself many times and yes, sometimes it is true, we really are alone. Yet, the more I thought about it and the more I prayed about it the more I realized that it is really a self-inflicted position. Now, before you stop reading and click away from my site hear me out. How often do you truly show yourself friendly. Do you invite others out for lunch or over for lunch? Do you seek out people to talk to after church or on the phone. When you are having a conversation with someone do you easily get your feelings hurt if they don't agree with your point of view?
I have tried reaching out to some people who I felt could become my friends but quickly was made to feel like they didn't really want friends, they wanted carbon copies. If I didn't agree with their schooling choices, it was a debate instead of a discussion and I left the conversation feeling like I should have kept my point of view to myself. If we differed on a biblical principal, then surely it was my fault and after a while I just felt like the relationship was too hard to keep up. I didn't cut that person out I just tried to limit the conversations and contact.
I have been made to feel bad for inviting others out or over also. Nothing is directly said it is just the little hints and sideways comments that make it known you've done something wrong. I am an outgoing person. I like to make friends. I do invite people over or out, yet it isn't often that it is reciprocated. So am I doing something wrong? Do other people really like me but are so busy they can't have friends. Are they just shy? I may never know the answer to those questions but I do know one thing.... I still choose to be happy and keep trying.
There are times at church when we have activities coming up and volunteers are needed. I try to volunteer. I don't have a car but I am still more than willing to help in any way I can. So I have gotten hurt feelings before because even though I have volunteered I'm not given any tasks. We seem to have a certain group of GREAT workers that do pretty much everything. That is fine with me, it really is. I love all our workers but I do sometimes wonder why they asked for help. I'm not the only "new" member of the church to feel this way. We don't want to take over we want to join in. I think sometimes it is hard for them because they've always been the do-ers and so now it is habit. Again...do I pout and stop trying? NO. How can we sit back and complain if we aren't doing all we can to show ourselves friendly? I will still volunteer the next time they ask for helpers. I will still invite people over or out with us. Why? Because I am an outgoing person and I enjoy making new friends. I may not get a friend from every effort but new friends are made. I know you have to be willing to give more than you expect to get. If you can't give more than you expect to get then your not going to be able to be a good friend in return. People want friends to be easy to have relationships with. They want someone who will listen to their needs as much as talk about their own.
Sometimes it is hard to be a friend but if you can't be a friend, if you don't try to be a friend, then really can you complain about not having friends?
If you don't volunteer at church, if you don't contribute ideas, if you don't participate in activities, then can you really complain about not being involved or included?
What's your thoughts?
I will re-invite those that I enjoy keeping company with, even if they don't reciprocate. I will keep volunteering when the Lord leads. Eventually they will see that I am faithful and that I am friendly and they will come around. I can only do my best and choose to be happy no matter what.